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9 definitions by Snark Chariot

 
1.
The act of working oneself into a tizzy over impending severe weather, as by a meteorologist.
The weatherman was exhausted after a weekend of intense forecasturbation.
додав Snark Chariot 20 Січень 2011
 
2.
Enjoying oneself immensely, but in a calm, cool way; succeeding at life; indulging in the spoils of victory.
Q: "Hey, man — how you doing?"
A: "I'm spoilin' like a mofo, bro."

Surrounded by gorgeous women, with a Chateaubriand on his plate and a 15-year-old Scotch in his glass, the impeccably dressed, tanned and well-rested man was spoiling.
додав Snark Chariot 7 Березень 2013
 
3.
(n.) a person who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about masturbation, and invests in only the finest lubes and/or sex toys in order to achieve the highest levels of independent sexual gratification.
You may like to stroke it, good sir, but I am a masturbaficionado — I take such things seriously.
додав Snark Chariot 18 Вересень 2014
 
4.
(noun) The state of needing to urinate as much and as often as you drink, with an immediacy that seems to increase with every sip; generally associated with binge-drinking over a long period of time. See also: Breaking the Seal.
After six Red Hooks, three double Jamesons, an unfortunate shot of Patron and a fru-fru drink I finished while my date was in the bathroom, I have at last achieved peequilibrium. Please escort me to the nearest hospital or detox center, thank you.
додав Snark Chariot 12 Вересень 2012
 
5.
(n.) 1. A complex non-procedure in which a wife withholds sex from her husband after the couple decided to stop having children, thus negating the need for the husband to get an actual vasectomy. 2. The most effective form of birth control ever conceived by (wo)man.
Q: Hey, man, did you get snipped?
A: Nah, my wife gave me a Catholic vasectomy instead.
додав Snark Chariot 13 Вересень 2014
 
6.
(v.) To bring home a crown, i.e., win a championship. Ascend to the throne. Reign victorious.
( INSERT SPORTS TEAM ) is in the business of housing crowns, pal.
All I do is house crowns.
додав Snark Chariot 26 Серпень 2014
 
7.
A complex medical procedure involving the removal of one's head from one's ass.
My good friend is having a craniosphinctalectomy today. I hope everything comes out well.
додав Snark Chariot 20 Березень 2014