He (with befuddled innocence): "But it was just the right size for the job. You can always wash it out before you use it."
2. She (in shocked fury at his latest mansgression): "I can't believe you used mother's brand new lace tablecloth to wipe the gravy off your face with!"
He (with befuddled innocence while sitting next to a pile of clean paper napkins): "But there weren't any napkins, what was I supposed to do?"
She: rolls eyes in exasperation before rapidly massaging his head with the nearest blunt object.