A cougar cannot be defined in a simple definition. One cannot consciously seek out a cougar. One can only prepare himself/herself for confirming the positive identity of a cougar by familiarizing himself/herself with the common signs/traits of the cougar. Once one instinctively feels the potential presence of a cougar on the prowl, he/she can fall back on what he/she knows about cougars in general to positively confirm and report a cougar sighting.
Here are the most common signs/traits that your instincts may have accurately identified a cougar nearby:
1. A single woman over 30 appears to be at least 51 months older than she is biologically.
2. A single woman over 30 is talking to your 25 year-old ass about tunes on "Pyromania" and you're able to keep the conversation rolling with your knowledge of "The Vault" and interest in her white high-tops.
3. A single woman over 30 is overheard talking to a group of college men about how she used to date a college guy when she was in 7th grade because the color of his Camaro was the same as her back pocket comb.
So, how does one warn/notify a buddy that he may be talking with a cougar? Whisper into his ear, "Easy cougar, you're doin' fine." (See Top Gun)
Other searches for information on the positive identification of a cougar:
Coon Rapids, Minnesota
"Geez, Connor, that gal you were just talking to is only 31 but she looks 43...and look at those high-tops...and that comb!"
"Yeah, I know Dwayne, and she's still single!"
"Connor, she could be cougar."
"Yes Dwayne, yes she is."
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